Ajaan lee autobiography featuring

I WAS BORN at nine hold the evening on Thursday, the Ordinal of January, 1907—the second day practice the waning moon, the second lunar month, the year of the Horse—in Baan Nawng Sawng Hawng (DoubleMarsh Village), Yaang Yo Phaab township, Muang Saam Sib district, Ubon Ratchathani province. That was a village of about 80 houses, divided into three clusters: say publicly Little Village, the Inner Village, final the Outer Village. In the Noticeable Village was a temple; that was the village in which I was born. Between the villages were leash ponds, and surrounding the villages calculate all sides were scores of colossus rubber trees. To the north were the ruins of an ancient municipality with two abandoned Buddhist sanctuaries. Authority spirits there were said to write down so fierce that they sometimes cursed people, causing them to go viable in the spirit shrines. From class looks of the ruins, I’d limitation they were built by the Khmers.

My original name was Chaalee. My parents were Pao and Phuay Nariwong; tongue-tied grandparents on my father’s side were named Janthaari and Sida; and cause to flow my mother’s side, Nantasen and Dee. I had five brothers and link sisters. About nine days after Frenzied was born, I became such deft nuisance—crying all the time—that my father confessor left home for a good behaviour. Three days after my mother formerly larboard the fire,* I developed a tumescence on my head, and couldn’t tangible or sleep for several days steer. I was an extremely difficult progeny to raise. Nothing my mother do well father could do ever seemed connection satisfy me.

My mother died when Side-splitting was eleven, leaving my father, in the flesh, and a little sister whom Distracted had to care for. My time away brothers and sisters by that meaning had all grown up and away off to find work, so hither were just the three of alert at home. Both my sister ground I had to help my dad in the rice fields.

When I was twelve I started school. I knowledgeable enough to read and write, on the contrary failed the elementary exams, which didn’t bother me in the least, on the contrary I kept on studying anyway. Daring act 17, I left school, my primary aim in life being to bring in money.

During this period my father distinguished I seemed always to be shell odds with each other. He loved me to start trading in funny that seemed wrong to me, intend pigs and cattle. Sometimes, when proceedings came time to make merit mistakenness the temple, he’d stand in dank way and send me out recognize work in the fields instead. Adjacent to were days I’d get so sorrowing that I’d end up sitting put out alone in the middle of authority fields, crying. There was one thoughtfulness in my mind: I swore be familiar with myself that I wasn’t going take on stay on in this village—so Berserk would only have to put elaborate with things just a little deck out longer.

After a while my father remarried, to a woman named Mae Thip. Life at home became a small more bearable after that.

WHEN I WAS 18, I set out to notice my elder brother, who had overawe work in Nong Saeng, Saraburi rapid. News had reached home that significant had a salaried job with character Irrigation Department, which was in rank process of building a watergate. And over in October of that year Frenzied moved in with my brother. Once long, though, we had a cursive out, because I happened to remark one day that he ought denote make a visit back home. Purify was dead set against going, to such a degree accord I left on my own, passageway south, looking for work. At loftiness time, I felt that money stratified in importance next to life strike. Although physically I had now turn up of age, I still thought apply myself as a child. When amigos would ask me to join them in going out to look fulfill women, I wouldn’t be the bottom bit interested, because I felt think about it marriage was for grown-ups, not mind kids like us.

From what I locked away seen of life, I had strenuous two resolutions that I kept oppress myself:

I was concrete that I’d have both the misery and the ability to support kindness least three other people before I’d be willing to get involved get used to a woman.

But there was yet preference reason for my aversion to excellence idea of marriage. During my youth, at the age when I was just beginning to know what was what, if I saw a gal pregnant to the point where she was close to giving birth, set up would fill me with feelings disregard fear and disgust. This was for the custom in those parts while in the manner tha a woman was going to afford birth was to take a the procedure and tie one end to smart rafter. The woman, kneeling down, would hang on to the other bound of the rope and give initiation. Some women would scream and whine, their faces and bodies all sick in pain. Whenever I happened dirty see this, I’d have to scurry away with my hands over straighten ears and eyes, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep, out be in command of both fear and disgust. This effortless a deep impression on me turn lasted for a long time.

When Funny was around 19 or 20, Unrestrained began to have some notion vacation good and evil, but it wasn’t in me to do evil. Go on the blink to that point I had on no account killed a large animal, except one—a dog. And I can remember it happened. One day when Crazed was eating, I took an grain and put it in the adornment of the fire. The dog came along, found the egg and past its sell-by date it—so I jumped up, grabbed a-ok club, and beat it to have killed on the spot. Immediately, I was sorry for what I had sort out. ‘How on earth can I stamp up for this sin?’ I deep. So I found an old soft-cover with a chant for sharing virtue that I memorized. I then went and worshiped the Buddha, dedicating righteousness merit to the dead dog. That made me feel better, but straighten whole train of thought at lose one\'s train of thought time was that I wanted gap be ordained.

In 1925, when I was 20, my stepmother died. At probity time, I was living with kindred in Bang Len district, Nakhorn Pathom province, so toward the end be defeated February I returned home to return to health father and asked him to back my ordination. I arrived with puff 160 baht in my pockets. Erelong after my arrival my elder brothers, sisters, brothers-in-law, etc., flocked around access see me—and to borrow money: succeed buy water buffaloes, to buy tedious, to use in trading. I gave them all they asked for, in that I was planning to be decreed. So in the end, out misplace my original 160 baht, I was left with 40.

When ordination season attained, my father made all the vital arrangements. I was ordained on honourableness full moon day of the 6th lunar month—Visakha Puja. Altogether, there were nine of us ordained that give to. Of this number, some have thanks to died, some have disrobed, leaving unique two of us still in rank monkhood—myself and a friend.

After my instatement I memorized chants and studied rectitude Dhamma and monastic discipline. Comparing what I was studying with the vitality I and the monks around disbelieve were leading made me feel infirm at ease, because instead of perceptive the duties of the contemplative bluff, we were out to have tidy good time: playing chess, wrestling, exhibition match games with girls whenever near was a wake, raising birds, retention cock fights, sometimes even eating go running in the evenings.* Speaking of tear in the evenings, even I, sustenance in this sort of society, connected in—as far as I can remember—three times:

1) One day I felt ravenous, so in the middle of justness night I got hold of rectitude rice placed as an offering discount the altar and ate it.

2) Recourse time I was invited to compliant deliver the Mahachaad sermon* at Wat Noan Daeng in Phai Yai (BigBamboo) township. It so happened that empty turn to read the sermon came at 11 a.m. By the hold your fire I had finished, it was provision noon, so it was too show to eat. On the way straightforward I was accompanied by a church boy carrying some rice and cooked fish in his shoulder bag. Organized little after 1 p.m., feeling indeed tired and hungry, I told prestige boy to show me what was in his bag. Seeing the tear, I couldn’t resist sitting right abridgment and finishing it off under goodness shade of a tree. I proof returned home to the temple.

3) Horn day I went into the ground to help drag wood back assent to the temple for building a get-together hall. That night I felt empty, so I had a meal.

I wasn’t the only person doing this downgrade of thing. My friends were know-how it all the time, but were always careful to cover it up.

During this period the thing I detestable most was to be invited walkout chant at a funeral. When Rabid was younger I would never dine in a house where a human race had just died. Even if generous living in the same house unwanted items me went to help with a-one funeral, I’d keep an eye nifty, after he returned, to see strange which basket he’d eat rice captain from which dipper he’d drink o I wouldn’t say anything, but I’d be careful not to eat come across that basket or drink from walk dipper. Even after I was decreed, this habit stayed with me. Crazed was 19 before I ever stressed foot in a cemetery. Even in the way that relatives died—even when my own be quiet died—I’d refuse to go to position cremation.

One day, after having been meant a fair while, I heard punters crying and moaning in the village: Someone had died. Before long Side-splitting caught sight of a man harsh a bowl of flowers, incense, person in charge candles, coming to the temple hither invite monks to chant at authority dead person’s place. As soon chimpanzee he entered the abbot’s quarters, Frantic ran off in the opposite focus, followed by some of the recently ordained monks. When we reached authority mango grove, we split up accept climbed the trees—and there we sat, perched one to a tree, actually still. It wasn’t long before illustriousness abbot went looking for us, on the contrary he couldn’t find us. I could hear him losing his temper ideal his quarters. There was one ability I was afraid of, though: ethics slingshot he kept to chase crackers from the trees. In the peak, he had a novice come seem for us, and when the tyro found us, we all had accord come down.

THIS IS THE WAY funny went for two years. Whenever Side-splitting looked into the books on monk discipline, I’d start feeling really anxious. I told myself, ‘If you don’t want to leave the monkhood, you’re going to have to leave that temple.’ At the beginning of empty second rains retreat, I made topping vow: ‘At present I still earnestly want to practice the Buddha’s intimation. Within the next three months, possibly will I meet a teacher who laws them truly and rightly.’

In the come across of November I went to compliant preach the Mahachaad sermon at Wat Baan Noan Rang Yai in Yaang Yo Phaab township. When I alighted, a meditation monk happened to befall on the sermon seat. I was really taken by the way powder spoke, so I asked some laypeople who he was and where illegal came from. They told me, ‘That’s Ajaan Bot, a student of Ajaan Mun.’ He was staying about adroit kilometer from the village, in pure forest of giant rubber trees, consequently at the end of the Mahachaad fair I went to see him. What I saw—his way of living thing, the manner in which he conducted himself—really pleased me. I asked him who his teachers were, and unwind answered, ‘Phra Ajaan Mun and Phra Ajaan Sao. At the moment, Ajaan Mun has come down from Sakon Nakhorn and is staying at Wat Burapha in the city of Ubon.’

Learning this, I hurried home to ill at ease temple, thinking all the way, ‘This must be what I’ve been temporize for.’ A few days later Wild went to take leave of free father and preceptor. At first they did all they could to give fair warning me from going, but as Uproarious told my father, I had by then made up my mind. ‘I have to one`s name to leave this village,’ I bass him. ‘Whether I leave as tidy monk or a layman, I’ve tranquil got to leave. My father tell preceptor have no rights over be suspicious of. The minute they start infringing untrue my rights is the minute Rabid get up and go.’

And in rendering end they let me go.

So move one in the afternoon, on unadorned day in early December, I dug in out, carrying my necessary belongings, lone. My father accompanied me as off as the middle of a policy. There, when we had said too late goodbyes, we parted ways.

That day Uncontrolled walked, passing the town of Muang Saam Sib, all the way traverse Ubon. On my arrival, I was told that Ajaan Mun was resident at the village of Kut Laad, a little over ten kilometers difficult to get to the city. Again, I set unroll on foot to find him. Dishonour so happened that Phra Barikhut, clean up former District Official in Muang Saam Sib who had been dismissed break government service and was moving circlet family, drove past me in surmount truck. Seeing me walking alone have a feeling the side of the road, settle down stopped and offered me a go all the way to the Ubon airport, the turn-off to Kut Laad. Even today I think of how on earth kind he was to me, efficient total stranger.

At about five in authority evening I reached the forest hospice at Kut Laad, where I erudite that Ajaan Mun had just mutual to Wat Burapha. So the effort morning, after breakfast, I walked amazement to Ubon. There I paid disheartened respects to Ajaan Mun and be made aware him my purpose in seeking him out. The advice and assistance noteworthy gave me were just what Uproarious was looking for. He taught throw off balance a single word—buddho—to meditate on. Expedition so happened that he was mundane at the time, so he curve me to Baan Thaa Wang Slender (StonePalace Landing), a very quiet boss secluded area where Phra Ajaan Singh and Phra MahaPin were staying all along with about 40 other monks stomach novices. While there, I went fulfill listen to their sermons every shady, which gave rise to two massage within me: When I thought divest yourself of my past, I’d feel ill even ease; when I thought of class new things I was learning obscure experiencing, I’d feel at peace. These two feelings were always with me.

I became friends with two other monks with whom I stayed, ate, projected, and discussed my experiences: Ajaan Kongma and Ajaan Saam. I kept downy my meditation all hours of righteousness day and night. After a from way back I talked Ajaan Kongma into milky off and wandering together. We went from village to village, staying inlet the ancestral shrines, until we reached my home village. I wanted happen next let my father know the benefit news: that I had met Ajaan Mun, that this was the poised I was looking for, and focus I had no intention of sharpwitted returning to live out my be in motion there at home. I had right away told myself, ‘You’ve been born a-ok person: You’ll have to work your way up to be better top other people. You’ve been ordained copperplate monk: You’ll have to try be bounded by be better than the monks you’ve known.’ Now it seemed that inaccurate hopes were being fulfilled. This not bad why I went home to express my father: ‘I’ve come to asseverate goodbye. I’m going for good. Integral my belongings I’m handing over pass on you. And I’m never going be selected for lay claims on anything of yours.’ Although I hadn’t made a substance decision never to disrobe, I had decided never to let myself superiority poor.

As soon as my aunt heard the news, she came to disagree with me: ‘Don’t you think you’re going a little too far?’ Straight-faced I answered her, ‘Look, if Rabid ever disrobe and come back here beg food from you, you be blessed with my permission to call me top-hole dog.’

Now that I had made orderly firm decision, I told my dad, ‘Don’t worry about me. Whether Irrational stay a monk or disrobe, I’ll always be satisfied with the treasures you’ve already given me: two view breadth of view, two ears, a nose, a snout gag, all the 32 parts of decency body. It’s an important inheritance. Downfall else you could give me could ever leave me satisfied.’

After that, Unrestrained said goodbye and set out hold up the city of Ubon. Reaching Wang Tham (CavePalace) Village, though, I begin Ajaan Mun staying in the home and dry there, so I joined him, remaining under his guidance for quite boss few days.

This was when I positive to re-ordain, this time in illustriousness Dhammayutika sect (the sect to which Ajaan Mun belonged), in order do good to make a clean break with ill at ease past wrongdoings. When I consulted Ajaan Mun, he agreed to the entire, and so had me practice illdefined part in the ordination ceremony. Considering that I had it down pat, noteworthy set out—with me following—wandering from territory to district.

I became extremely devoted make out Ajaan Mun, because there were diverse things about him that had smash down amazed. For instance, there were nowadays when I would have been prominence about something, without ever mentioning go past to him, and yet he’d suggest up the topic and seem get in touch with know exactly what my thoughts confidential been. Each time this happened, nuts respect and devotion toward him concentrated. I practiced meditation constantly, free use many of the worries that abstruse plagued me in the past.

After Beside oneself had stayed under Ajaan Mun’s regulation for four months, he set primacy date for my reordination at Wat Burapha in the city of Ubon, with Phra Paññabhisara Thera (Nuu) commentary Wat Sra Pathum (LotusPond Temple), Port, as my preceptor; Phra Ajaan Pheng of Wat Tai, Ubon, as integrity Announcing Teacher; and Ajaan Mun being as the Instructing Teacher, who gave me the preliminary ordination as spruce up novice. I was reordained on Hawthorn 27, 1927, and the following fair began to observe strictly the bleak practice of eating only one spread a day. After spending one threadbare at Wat Burapha, I returned manuscript the forest at StonePalace Landing.

When Ajaan Mun and Phra Paññabhisara Thera mutual to Bangkok to spend the Rains Retreat at Wat Sra Pathum, they left me under the guidance appeal to Ajaan Singh and Ajaan MahaPin. Mid this period I followed Ajaan Singh and Ajaan MahaPin on their journey through the countryside. They had back number asked by Phraya Trang, the Empress of Ubon, to teach morality essential meditation to the people of authority rural areas. When the time came to enter the Rains Retreat, awe stopped at OxHead Village Monastery feature Yasothon district. It so happened renounce Somdet Phra Mahawirawong, the ecclesiastical imagination of the Northeast, called Ajaan MahaPin back to the city of Ubon, so in the end only sextuplet of us spent the rainy occasion together in that township.

I was unpick ardent in my efforts to groom meditation that rainy season, but prevalent were times I couldn’t help leaning a little discouraged because all empty teachers had left me. Occasionally I’d think of disrobing, but whenever Frantic felt this way there’d always befall something to bring me back disparagement my senses.

One day, for instance, examination about five in the evening, Farcical was doing walking meditation, but empty thoughts had strayed toward worldly before you can say \'jack robinson\' no way. A woman happened to walk previous the monastery, improvising a song—’I’ve characterized by the heart of the tyd tyy bird: It’s mouth is singing, tyd tyy, tyd tyy, but its dishonorable is out looking for crabs’—so Berserk memorized her song and repeated not in use over and over, telling myself, ‘It’s you she’s singing about. Here order around are, a monk, trying to further some virtue inside yourself, and hitherto you let your heart go gorgeous for worldly matters.’ I felt unhealthy of myself. I decided that I’d have to bring my heart ready money line with the fact that Uncontrolled was a monk if I didn’t want the woman’s song to put into service to me. The whole incident in this fashion turned into Dhamma.

A number of curb events also helped to keep deal in alert. One night when the hanger-on was bright, I made an in person with one of the other monks that we’d go without sleep folk tale do sitting and walking meditation. (That rainy season there were six emancipation us altogether, five monks and predispose novice. I had made a massage that I’d have to do greater than all the rest of them. For instance, if any of them were able to get by laxity only ten mouthfuls of food swell day, I’d have to get disrespect on eight. If any of them could sit in meditation for one hours straight, I’d have to dynasty for five. If any of them could do walking meditation for encyclopaedia hour, I’d have to walk funding two. I felt this way lengthen everything we did, and yet setting seemed that I was able improve live up to my resolution. That was a secret I kept taint myself.)

At any rate, that night Uncontrolled told my friend, ‘Let’s see who’s better at doing sitting and walk meditation.’ So we agreed, ‘When Beside oneself do walking meditation, you do movement meditation; and when I do congress meditation, you do walking meditation. Let’s see who can last longer.’ Conj at the time that it came my turn to application walking meditation, my friend went dealings sit in a hut next tonguelash the path where I was commonplace. Not too long afterwards, I heard a loud thud coming from middle the hut, so I stopped turn into open the window and peek constant worry. Sure enough, there he was, ungrammatical on his back with his traitorous legs sticking up in the resolve. He had been sitting in abundant lotus position, gotten sleepy, and confidential simply fallen backwards and gone criticize sleep. I was practically dropping move to sleep myself, but had engaged going out of the simple raw to win. I felt embarrassed quandary my friend’s sake—’I’d hate to have someone on in his place,’ I thought—but on tap the same time was pleased Comical had won.

All of these things served to teach me a lesson: ‘This is what happens to people who aren’t true in what they do.’

At the end of the rains, loftiness group split up, each of calorific going off to wander alone, regional in cemeteries. During this period view seemed that my meditation was leaden very well. My mind could take possession of down to a very refined plane, and one very strange thing cruise had never happened before was creation to happen: When my mind was really good and quiet, knowledge would suddenly come to me. For explanation, even though I had never phoney Pali, I could now translate chief of the chants I had memorized: most of the Buddha-guna, for regard, the Cula Paritta, and the Abhidhamma Sankhepa. It seemed that I was becoming fairly expert in the Dhamma. If there was anything I loved to know, all I had die do was make my mind notice still, and the knowledge would defeat to me without my having tackle think over the matter. When that happened, I went to consult Ajaan Kongma. He explained to me, ‘The Buddha never studied how to create books or give sermons from unified else. He first practiced meditation cope with the knowledge arose within his item. Only then did he teach position Dhamma that has been copied stoppage in the scriptures. So the system you’ve come to know within forlorn like this isn’t wrong.’ Hearing that, I felt extremely pleased.

At the keep on of the rains, I thought classic going to see my father once more also, because I felt that there was still a lot of unfinished job at home. Setting out on meter, I reached Baan Noan Daeng (RedHill Village), where I stayed at honourableness ancestral spirit shrine. When the kinship people found me alone in illustriousness forest there, they sent word craving my father. Early the next dawn he came to see me, accepting set out from home in class middle of the night. He confidential prepared food for me, as stroke he knew how, but I couldn’t eat it, not even to give pleasure to him. I was sorry I couldn’t, but I was now following grandeur monastic discipline strictly—and it’s a sum that should be followed strictly: say publicly rule against eating flesh from gargantuan animal killed specifically for the benefit of feeding a monk. Afterwards, whenever I thought about it, I’d initiate feeling so sorry for my ecclesiastic that tears would come to downcast eyes. When he saw that diadem son the monk wouldn’t eat dignity food he had prepared, he took it off and ate it himself.

When he had finished, I followed him back to my home village, swing this time I stayed first press the cemetery, and then later sight another spot in the forest to what place the spirits were said to enter very fierce. I stayed there purchase weeks, delivering sermons to people who came from many of the local villages, and I did away channel of communication a lot of their mistaken experience and practices: belief in sorcery, nobleness worship of demons and spirits, with the use of various spells renounce Buddhism calls ‘bestial knowledge.’ I helped wipe out a good number shambles the fears my friends and one\'s nearest in the village had concerning honourableness spirits in the ruins near honourableness village and the spirits in righteousness spot where I was staying. Miracle exorcised them by reciting Buddhist chants and spreading thoughts of good wish throughout the area. During the daylight, we’d burn the ritual objects stirred for worshiping spirits. Some days there’d be nothing but smoke the overall day long. I taught the cohorts in the village to take immunity in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha, to recite Buddhist chants and explicate meditate, instead of getting involved be in connection with spirits and demons.

There was another rule I had seen a lot extent in the past that struck dash as pointless, and so we figured out a way to wipe hold back out: the belief that the traditional spirits in the village had next eat animal flesh every year. Previously at once dir a year, when the season came around, each household would have however sacrifice a chicken, a duck, decent a pig. Altogether this meant range in one year hundreds of provision creatures had to die for significance sake of the spirits, because presentday would also be times when descendants would make sacrifices to cure nourish illness in the family. All claim this struck me as a comatose waste. If the spirits really blunt exist, that’s not the sort go in for food they would eat. It would be far better to make reward and dedicate it to the blissful. If they didn’t accept that, thence drive them away with the prerogative of the Dhamma.

So I ordered decency people to burn all the conventional shrines. When some of the villagers began to lose nerve for objection that there would be nothing disturb protect them in the future, Frenzied wrote down the chant for broad good will, and gave a reproduce to everyone in the village, guaranteeing that nothing would happen. I’ve because learned that all of the policy around the ancestral shrines is at the present time planted with crops, and that description spot in the forest where primacy spirits were said to be unbroken is now a new village.

As Farcical stayed there for quite a from way back, teaching the people in the native, word began to spread. Some cohorts became jealous and tried in several ways to drive me away. Unified day three of the leading monks in the area were invited come to give a sermon debate. I was invited as the fourth. The pair monks were: Phra Khru Vacisunthorn, loftiness ecclesiastical head of Muang Saam Relation district; Preceptor Lui, the ecclesiastical imagination of Amnaad Jaroen district; Ajaan Waw, who had knowledge of Pali. Distinguished then there was me. The blackness before the debate, I told ‘It’s going to be a bargain, drag-out battle tomorrow. Whoever takes sell something to someone on, and however they do simulate, don’t let yourself be fazed clasp the least.’ A lot of followers went to hear the debate, on the other hand in the end it all passed peacefully without any incident.

Still, there were a number of monks and laypeople in the area who, thinking Mad was nothing but a braggart, taken aloof trying to create trouble and misunderstandings between other monks and me. Give someone a tinkle day Nai Chai, claiming to sum up the householders in Yaang Yo Phaab township, went to the offices assiduousness the District Official and denounced clang as a vagrant. This simply augmented my determination to stay. ‘I haven’t done anything evil or wrong because coming here. No matter how they come at me, I’m going express stick it out to the announcement end.’ The outcome of it drop was that the District Education Government agent had no authority to drive fluster out of the village. I put into words the people that if there was any more of this sort designate business, I wouldn’t leave until bodyguard name had been cleared.

One day dignity District Official himself came out handle check up on some government fold, and spent the night in class village. The village headman, a allied of mine, told him about label that had been happening. The Limited Official’s response was this: ‘It’s natty rare monk who will teach position laypeople like this. Let him span as long as he likes.’ Be bereaved that point on, there were inept more incidents.

AFTER A WHILE, I took leave of my relatives and put out for Yasothon. There I reduce Ajaan Singh with a following disregard 80 monks and novices staying critical the Yasothon cemetery, the spot turn the jail is now standing. In the near future afterwards a letter came from Phra Phisanasarakhun, the ecclesiastical head of Khon Kaen province at Wat Srijan (SplendorousMoon Temple), inviting Ajaan Singh to Khon Kaen. So the citizens of Yasothon—headed by Ajaan Rin, Ajaan Daeng, brook Ajaan Ontaa—rented two buses, and astonishment all set out for Khon Kaen. Ajaan Bot, the first meditation religious I had met, went along orang-utan well. The first night we weary in Roi Et; and the secondbest at Ancestor Hill in Maha Sarakham, a spot where the local descendants said the spirits were fierce. Hundreds of people came to listen appendix Ajaan Singh’s sermons.

I began to become conscious of that I wasn’t going to bring to light any peace and quiet in these circumstances, so I took my deviate of Ajaan Singh and, accompanied surpass a novice, went to visit nuts relatives—Khun MahaWichai, an uncle on embarrassed mother’s side of the family—in Nam Phong district. When I arrived close by I found a number of families in the area related to assume. They were all glad to model me and gathered around to know news of the folks back fair. They fixed up a place play a part a forest of giant trees manipulate the bank of the Nam Phong River, and there I stayed confirm quite a few days. The catechumen who had come with me took his leave to visit his kindred back home in Sakon Nakhorn, and above I stayed on alone in class forest, which was full of fall to pieces but monkeys.

After a while I began to develop a persistent headache opinion earache. I told my Aunt Ngoen about this, and she sent employment to see a nephew of hers, a policeman in Phon district. Operate in turn had a driver in the region of me to Nakhorn Ratchasima, were Uncontrollable stayed at Wat Sakae. I fatigued three days looking for my one\'s own flesh there, but couldn’t find them. Leadership reason I wanted to find doubtful relatives was that I had clear out heart set on going to Port to take care of my malady and to find Ajaan Mun. In the long run a rickshaw driver took me disapproval the government housing settlement for line officials, where I met my cousin-german, Mae Wandee, the wife of Khun Kai. Everyone seemed glad to performance me and asked me to exceptional on to spend the Rains Agreement there in Nakhorn Ratchasima. I didn’t accept their invitation, though, because by the same token I told them, I was shatter on going to Bangkok. So cutback cousin bought me a train pass to HuaLamphong Station in Bangkok.

As significance train passed through the Phaya Solicit Jungle and burst out into honourableness open fields of Saraburi, I thoughtfulness of my elder brother who confidential a family at the Nawng Taa Lo watergate, the one I locked away visited back when I was yet a layman. So when we clogged at Baan Phachi junction, I got off and walked all the path to my brother’s house. On inward, though, I learned that he difficult to understand taken his family and moved catch Nakhorn Sawan province. The only humans left that I knew in blue blood the gentry village were some friends and elderly people. I stayed there until integrity end of May, when I great my friends of my plans generate go to Bangkok. They bought revenue a ticket and accompanied me survive the station. I took the house-train all the way to Bangkok elitist got off when it arrived mad HuaLampong Station.

Never before in my the social order had I ever been to Port. I had no idea of fкte to find my way to Wat Sra Pathum, so I called unornamented rickshaw driver and asked him, ‘How much will you charge to blunt me to Wat Sra Pathum?’

‘Fifty satang.’

‘Fifty satang? Why so much? Wat Sra Pathum is practically just around authority corner!’

So in the end he took me for fifteen satang.

When I reached Wat Sra Pathum, I paid leaden respects to my preceptor, who rumbling me that Chao Khun Upali challenging invited Ajaan Mun to spend say publicly rains in Chieng Mai. So monkey it turned out, I spent leadership rains that year at Wat Sra Pathum.

My quarters were quite a construction away from my preceptor’s. I imposture a resolution that Rains Retreat in a jiffy practice mediation as I always confidential, and at the same time crowd to neglect any of my duties in the temple or, unless scenery was really unavoidable, any of primacy services a new monk is reputed to perform for his preceptor.

I was very strict in practicing meditation go year, keeping to myself most carryon the time, my one thought heart to maintain stillness of mind. Unrestrained took part in the morning ground evening chanting services, and attended yearning my preceptor every morning and put together afternoon. I had noticed that glory way he was living left trim large opening for me to haunt to him in a way turn this way appealed to me—no one was anxious after his bedding, cleaning his spittoons, arranging his betel nut, keeping tiara mats and sitting cloths in order: This was my opening.

So from saunter point on I observed my duties toward my preceptor as best Raving could. After a while I change that I was serving him put your name down his satisfaction and had found a- place in his affections. At nobility end of the rains he intentionally me to take on the order of living in and watching bend the temple storehouse, the Green Entry, where he took his meals. Even if I had set my mind categorization treating him as a father, Wild had never dreamed that being trusty and good could have dangers aim this.

So at the beginning of character hot season, I took leave delineate my preceptor to go out innermost find some seclusion in the ground. I left Bangkok, passing through Ayutthaya, Saraburi, Lopburi, Takhli, Phukhao, Phukhaa, fulfil the way to Nakhorn Sawan veer, passing through Thaa Tako district humbling around Boraphet Lake, I reached forlorn brother’s place. There I met troupe only my brother, but also several old friends from the days resume when I was still a layman.

During my stay in Nakhorn Sawan, Wild lived in a forest about fraction a kilometer from the village. Sidle day I heard the calls elect two elephants fighting, one a strong elephant and the other a obedient elephant in rut. They battled make up for three days running until the unbroken elephant could no longer put chill out a fight and died. With cruise, the elephant in rut went psychotic, running wild through the forest spin I was staying, chasing people nearby goring them with his tusks. Position owner of the elephant—Khun Jop—and perturb people in the area came flavour invite me to take shelter cut down the village, but I wouldn’t be busy. Even though I was somewhat lilylivered, I decided to depend on inaccurate powers of endurance and my trust in the power of good will.

Then one day, at about four outline the afternoon, the elephant came contest to the clearing where I was staying and came to a put an end about 40 meters from my cabin. At the time, I was consultation in the hut, meditating. Hearing coronet calls, I stuck my head cut short and saw him standing there coerce a frightening stance with his defeat back and his tusks gleaming chalkwhite. The thought occurred to me: ‘If he comes running this way, he’ll be on me in less more willingly than three minutes.’ And with that, Frantic lost my nerve. I jumped safety inspection of the hut and ran transfer a large tree about six meters away. But just as I reached it and had taken my cap step up the trunk, a lock up like a person whispering came do research my ears: ‘You’re not for certain. You’re afraid to die. Whoever’s white-livered to die will have to knuckle under again.’ Hearing this, I let walk of the tree and hurried impair to the hut. I got bash into a half-lotus position and, with clean up eyes open, sat facing the elephant and meditating, spreading thoughts of benefit will.

While all this was happening, Unrestrainable could hear the villagers crying arm yelling to one another: ‘That ascetic (meaning me) is really in top-notch fix. Isn’t anybody going to longsuffering him?’ But that was all they did, cry and yell. No one—not even a single person—had the have the guts to come anywhere near me.

I sat there for about ten minutes, radiating thoughts of good will. Finally character elephant flapped its ears up charge down a few times, turned all over, and walked back into the grove. A few moments later I got up from where I was meeting and walked out of the also woods coppice into the open rice fields. Khun Jop and the others came spirited around me, amazed that I abstruse come through without mishap.

The next okay, crowds of people from all double the area came to see imagine and to ask for ‘good things’: amulets. The word was that being the elephant had been afraid profit come near me, I was certain to have some good strong amulets. Seeing all the commotion, I definite to cut short my stay, tolerable a few days later I held goodbye to my relatives and rugged back to Bangkok.

I reached Wat Sra Pathum in the month of Haw. During this, my second Rains Prolong there, my preceptor had me grip over the temple accounts from Phra Baitika Bunrawd. At the same put off, my companions talked me into substance for the Third Level Dhamma exams. This meant that I had keen lot of added burdens. Not lone was there my preceptor to server to, but also the temple money and inventories to keep. On apex of that, I had to peruse Dhamma textbooks and keep up discomfited meditation. With all these added responsibilities, my state of mind began trigger grow a bit slack. This bottle be gauged by the fact drift the first year, when any constantly the other young monks came take in hand talk to me about worldly matters—women and wealth—I really hated it, on the contrary the second year I began be in total like it. My third year crash into Wat Sra Pathum I began feign study Pali grammar, after having passed the Third Level Dhamma exams bland 1929. My responsibilities had become heavier—and I was getting pretty active watch discussing worldly matters. But when tidy up way of life began to go kaput this point, there were a count of events, both inside and absent the temple, that helped bring position to my senses.

One day, toward excellence end of the second Rains Care, I discovered that more than 900 baht had disappeared from the holy place accounts. For days I checked ornament the books but couldn’t find annulus it had gone. Normally I notion a practice of reporting to blurry preceptor on the first of the whole number month, but when the first chivalrous the month came around this meaning, I didn’t go to see him. I questioned everyone who worked co-worker me, but they all denied getting any knowledge of the missing bear out. Finally another possibility occurred to me: Nai Bun, a student who nerve-wracking to my preceptor. Some mornings take action would ask for the key quick the Green Hall to keep long forgotten I went out on my largess or largesse round. So I asked Phra Baitika Bunrawd to question Nai Bun, who finally admitted to having stolen greatness money while I was out.

The huge affair was my preceptor’s fault. Subject morning he had been invited force to accept some donations on the trip following a cremation at the villa of a nobleman, but his ceremony fan and shoulder bag were restricted in my room, and because Wild had gone out for alms brook taken the key with me, proscribed couldn’t get to them. So hold up then on he told me habitation leave the key with Nai Thicken every morning before going out muddle up alms, and this was how rendering money had disappeared. I was opportune that Nai Bun had admitted fulfil guilt. I went back to hold up the books carefully and discovered cruise, of the missing funds, more go one better than 700 baht had come from representation temple funds, and the remainder distance from my preceptor’s personal funds.

So on Oct 5th, now that everything was market order, I went to tell minder closest friends, Phra Baitika Bunrawd attend to Phra Chyam, ‘I’m going to feigned a report to the abbot move five o’clock today.’

‘Don’t,’ Phra Chyam thought. ‘I’ll make up for the short money myself.’

I appreciated his offer on the other hand didn’t think it was a trade fair idea. It would be better examination be open and aboveboard about ethics whole affair. Otherwise the boy would start developing bad habits.

My preceptor difficult gotten cross with both of tawdry friends over the temple books diverse times before, so when the at the double came for me to make embarrassed report, they went to hide confine their quarters, shutting their doors fixed, leaving me to face my academe alone. Before I made my slay, I went to the Green Foyer, swept and scrubbed the floor, brace yourself the betel nut, spread out precise sitting mat for my preceptor, abstruse then sat there waiting for him. A little after four o’clock, fiasco left the large new set perceive quarters built for him by Mohammedan Talap, wife of Chao Phraya Yomaraj, and came to sit in loftiness Green Hall. When he had ripened his tea and betel nut, Irrational approached him to make my story about the missing funds. Before Unrestrained had even finished my first decree, he got cross. ‘Why have jagged waited till the fifth this four weeks to make your report? Usually set your mind at rest make it on the first.’

‘The intention I didn’t come on the first,’ I answered, ‘was because I locked away some doubts about the accounts limit the people involved. But now I’m sure that the money is in truth missing—and I’ve found the guilty party.’

‘Who?’ he asked.

‘Nai Bun,’ I answered. ‘He’s already confessed.’

‘Bring him here,’ he consecutive, and then added, ‘This is awkward. Don’t let word of this top off out.’

So Phra Baitika Bunrawd fetched Nai Bun, who admitted his guilt hear my preceptor. The final outcome was that Nai Bun had to cloudless up for the missing funds.

Now delay this was all taken care flawless, I asked to resign my disagreement so that I could go untie to the forest to meditate. Formerly the affair had been settled, close by had been one night when Side-splitting couldn’t get any sleep all murky long. All I could think be partial to was that I would have erect disrobe and get a job pocket make up for the missing bear out. At the same time, I didn’t want to disrobe. These two underestimate fought back and forth in ill-defined mind until dawn. But when Unrestrainable broached the idea of resigning indulge my preceptor, he wouldn’t let sap go.

‘I’m an old man now,’ unquestionable said, ‘and aside from you there’s no one I can trust revert to look after things for me. You’ll have to stay here for prestige time being.’

So I had to staff it out for another year.

THE Ordinal RAINS RETREAT, my preceptor had keep amused come stay in his new accommodation to help fix up the threatening and assist him with his hobby: repairing clocks. My old duties Uncontrolled was able to pass on revivify Phra Chyam, which was something assess a load off my mind. On the contrary looking at the state of free meditation, I could see that wooly practice had grown slack. I was becoming more and more interested stop in midsentence worldly matters. So I decided close to put up a fight. One fair it occurred to me, ‘If Comical stay on here in the sweep, I’ll have to disrobe. If Irrational stay a monk, I’ll have get on the right side of leave the city and go turn-off the forest.’ These two thoughts became the theme of my meditation vacation and night.

One day I went preclude to a hollow space at honesty top of the chedi and sat in meditation. The theme of nasty meditation was, ‘Should I stay specifics should I disrobe?’ Something inside perfect said, ‘I’d rather disrobe.’ So Uncontrolled questioned myself, ‘This place where you’re living now, prosperous in every go mouldy, with its beautiful homes and streets, with its crowds of people: What do they call it?’ And Wild answered, ‘Phra Nakhorn—the Great Metropolis, i Heaven on Earth.’

‘And where were command born?’

‘I was born in DoubleMarsh County, Muang Saam Sib, Ubon Ratchathani. Professor now that I’ve come to nobleness Great Metropolis I want to disrobe.’

‘And in DoubleMarsh Village what did bolster eat? How did you live? On the other hand did people make their living? Highest what did you wear? And what were the roads and houses like?’

Nothing at all like the Great Metropolis.

‘So this prosperity here: What business equitable it of yours?’

This was when Raving answered, ‘The people in the Big Metropolis aren’t deva-sons or deva-daughters gathering anything. They’re people and I’m straighten up person, so why can’t I bring into being myself be like them?’

I questioned yourself back and forth like this dole out several days running until I eventually decided to call a halt. In case I was going to disrobe, I’d have to make preparations. Other family unit, before disrobing, got prepared by taking accedence clothes made and so forth, on the other hand I was going to do thorough differently. I was going to end the monkhood in my mind pass with flying colours to see what it would promote to like.

So late in the quiet portend a moonlit night, I climbed nowin situation to sit inside the chedi viewpoint asked myself, ‘If I disrobe, what will I do?’ I came breed with the following story.

When Wild came to the end of honourableness story, my interest in worldly development vanished. The sense that life was closing in on me disappeared. Farcical felt as free as if Hilarious were up floating in the firmament. Something inside me sighed, ‘Ah!’ adequate relief. I told myself that assuming this was the way things would be, I’d do better not wring disrobe. My old desire to shed was reduced about 50 to 60 percent.

Throughout this period a number indicate other events occurred that helped ring my thoughts in the right trail. Some nights I’d dream that discount old meditation teachers had come brand see me: Sometimes they’d be feral with me, sometimes they’d scold soupзon. But there were four events—you’d enjoy to call them strange, and they certainly were important in changing illdefined thinking. I have to beg primacy reader’s pardon for mentioning them, scour, because there’s nothing at all pleasing about them. But because they were good lessons, I feel they essential go on record.

The first event: Through the period when I was defrayal my nights thinking about worldly swallow, there was one day I in operation feeling constipated, so that afternoon Hilarious took a laxative, figuring that on the assumption that the medicine acted as it locked away before, I’d have to go ascend the bathroom at about 9 p.m. For some reason, it didn’t be anxious. The next morning I went solution my alms round down the monotonous to Sra Pathum Palace. Just style I was coming to a bedsit where they had prepared food equal give to the monks, all elect a sudden I had to hurry to the bathroom so badly Wild could hardly stand it. I couldn’t even walk to the house tell somebody to accept their food. All I could do was hold myself in stream walk in little pigeon steps up in the air I came to an acacia thicket by the side of the pedestrian. I plunked down my bowl captain hurried through the fence into say publicly grove. I wanted to sink wooly head down into the ground cope with die right there. When I difficult finished, I left the grove, favoured up my alms bowl, and ripened my round. That day I didn’t get enough to eat. Returning get as far as the temple, I warned myself, ‘This is what it’s going to designate like if you disrobe. Nobody’s bright and breezy to fix food to put entail your bowl.’ The whole event was really a good lesson.

The second event: One day I went out at on my alms round. I interbred ElephantHead Bridge, passed Saam Yaek, predominant turned down Phetburi Road. There was no one to place even unadorned spoonful of rice in my dish. It so happened that as Uncontrollable was passing a row of landscape, I saw an old Chinese gentleman and woman yelling and screaming squabble each other in front of their flat. The woman was about 50 and wore her hair in out bun. The old man wore coronate hair in a pigtail. As Berserk came to their flat, I congested to watch. Within about two extras, the old woman grabbed a conflict and hit the man over rectitude head with the handle. The stow man grabbed the woman by nobleness hair and kicked her in justness back. I asked myself, ‘If renounce were you, what would you do?’ and then I smiled: ‘You’d doubtlessly end the marriage for good.’ Comical felt more pleased seeing this event than if I had received far-out whole bowlful of food. That night-time I meditated on what I esoteric seen. It seemed that my launch an attack was regaining its strength and, corner by bit, becoming more and go into detail disenchanted with worldly affairs.

The third event: It was a holiday. I difficult started out on my alms neat before dawn, going down to glory Sra Pathum Watergate market, and mistreatment up the lane behind the holy place. This was a dirt lane hoop horses were stabled. Rain was tumbling and the road surface was icy. I was walking in a also composed manner past the house remember a layperson I knew who frequented the temple. My bowl was filled of food and I was eminence very absent-mindedly of worldly matters—so absently that I slipped and fell sidelong into a mud hole by grandeur side of the road. Both faux my knees were sunk about well-ordered foot into the muck, my race was spilled all over the advertise, my body was covered with sludge. I had to hurry back collision the temple and when I checked in I warned myself: ‘See what happens when you even just think endorse such things?’ My heart was leisurely becoming more and more disenchanted siphon off worldly matters. My old opinions abstruse reversed to the point where Uproarious now saw marriage as something guarantor kids, not for grown-ups.

The fourth event: The next morning, I went spew for alms taking my usual flight path down Phetburi Road. I came get at the palace of His Highness Emperor Dhaninivat. This prince made a usage of donating food to monks even large every day. It so exemplification that someone had set up organized bowl of rice across the coordination from the palace that day, for this reason I decided to accept rice take the stones out of the new donors first. After obtaining their rice, I turned around relax cross the street, when one bring into play Nai Lert’s white buses came whizzing past, less than a foot escape my head. The passengers on loftiness bus started yelling and screaming, delighted I myself was stunned: I difficult just missed being killed by top-hole bus. When I finally went feel accept rice from the prince, Farcical had to exert a great agreement of self-control because I was vibration all over. I then returned skin the temple.

All of these events Uncontrollable took to be warnings, because sooner than that period my thoughts about physical matters would start flaring up anyplace and at any time.

NOW WE Emerge to the end of the Rains Retreat, 1930. During that third pluvious season I had told myself, ‘You’re going to have to leave Port. There’s no two ways about cry. If your preceptor stands in your way, there’ll have to be calligraphic falling out.’ So I made smashing wish: ‘May the Triple Gem tolerate all the sacred things in representation cosmos help me find another capably out.’

Another night, toward the end observe the rains, I had been untruthfulness on my back, reading a soft-cover and meditating at the same leave to another time, when I fell asleep. I dreamed that Ajaan Mun came to hellcat me. ‘What are you doing blessed Bangkok?’ he asked. ‘Go out weigh up the forest!’

‘I can’t,’ I answered. ‘My preceptor won’t let me.’

Ajaan Mun approved with a single word: ‘Go!’

So Comical dedicated a resolution to him: ‘At the end of the rains, hawthorn Ajaan Mun come and take unkind with him out of this predicament.’

It was just a few days next that Chao Khun Upali* broke realm leg, and Ajaan Mun came floor to pay his respects to him. A short while after that, Gal Noi, the mother of Chao Phraya Mukhamontri, passed away, and the sepulture services were to be held motionless Wat Debsirin. Because Lady Noi locked away been one of Ajaan Mun’s sector when he was staying in Udon Thani, he made a point disturb attending her funeral. My preceptor courier I were also invited, and Unrestrainable met Ajaan Mun up on decency crematorium. I was overjoyed but esoteric no chance to have even spruce word with him. So I without being prompted Chao Khun Phra Amarabhirakkhit where Ajaan Mun was staying, and he accredited, ‘At Wat Boromnivasa.’ On the double dutch home from the funeral I got permission from my preceptor to fell at Wat Boromnivasa to pay nasty respects to Ajaan Mun.

In the a handful of years since my reordination, this was my first encounter with Ajaan Mun. After I had paid my congratulations, he delivered a short sermon nurture me on the text, ‘Khina jati, vusitam brahmacariyanti,’ which he translated take on short as, ‘The noble ones, acquiring freed themselves from the mental effluents, find happiness. This is the peerless holy life.’ That’s all I bottle remember of it, but I mat that sitting and listening to him speak for a few moments gave my heart more peace than resourcefulness had felt all the years Berserk had been practicing on my own.

In the end he told me, ‘You’ll have to come with me that time. As for your preceptor, I’ll inform him myself.’ That was sermon entire conversation. I bowed down command somebody to him and returned to Wat Sra Pathum.

When I told my preceptor come to pass my meeting with Ajaan Mun, loosen up simply sat very still. The later day, Ajaan Mun came to Wat Sra Pathum and spoke with ill-defined preceptor, saying that he wanted give somebody the job of have me go with him become north. My preceptor gave his assent.

I began to get my necessary possessions together and to say goodbye count up my friends and the temple boys. I asked one of the boys how much money I had unattended to for my travel expenses, and inaccuracy told me, ‘Thirty satang.’ That wasn’t even enough to pay for prestige ride to HuaLamphong Station, which by virtue of that time had risen to 50 satang. So I went to intimate to Ajaan Mun, and he assured fair that he would take care honor everything.

The day before Lady Noi’s cremation*, Ajaan Mun was invited to purvey a sermon at the home take possession of Chao Phraya Mukhamontri and afterwards stuffy the following donations: a set fall foul of robes, a container of kerosene, unthinkable 80 baht. Later, Ajaan Mun rumbling me that the set of robes he gave to a monk delay Wat Boromnivasa, the kerosene he gave to Phra MahaSombuun, and the pennilessness he gave to people who requisite it, leaving just enough for fold up people’s traveling expenses: his and mine.

After a while, when Chao Khun Upali finally let Ajaan Mun return direction, we took the train to Uttaradit, where we stayed at Wat Salyaphong, a temple founded by Chao Khun Upali himself. Before getting on class express train at Hua Lamphong Quarters, we ran into Mae Ngaw Nedjamnong, who had come down to Bangkok—whether it was to attend Lady Noi’s funeral or what, I don’t split. Mae Ngaw was one of Ajaan Mun’s old students and she concordant to help look after our requirements during the entire trip.

This was grandeur period when Ajaan Tan was superior of Wat Salyaphong. We stayed just about a number of days and accordingly went to stay in the general behind the temple, quite a intransigent from the monks’ quarters. This was a quiet, secluded place, both next to day and by night.

One day Funny got into a disagreement with Ajaan Mun and he drove me plod. Although I felt riled, I definite not to let my feelings flaunt, so I stayed on with him, attending to his needs as Crazed always had.

The next morning—this was put in early January, toward the end reproach the second lunar month—two monks came looking for Ajaan Mun with honourableness news that one of his set attendants was seriously ill in Chieng Mai. The two monks then continued velleity down to Bangkok, after which Ajaan Mun and I left Uttaradit make public Chieng Mai. When we arrived phenomenon went to stay at Wat Chedi Luang (GreatChedi Temple).

The ill follower soured out to be a layman—Nai Biew of San Kampheng district—who had develop mentally deranged. His older brother weather sister-in-law brought him to Wat Chedi Luang, and Ajaan Mun cured him with meditation.

That year I spent dignity Rains Retreat at Wat Chedi Luang. When we had first arrived, nearby were quite a number of specialty fellow meditation monks staying at distinction temple, but as the rains approached they left one by one convey stay in the hills. At regulate, Ajaan Mun was going to be endowed with me leave for the hills besides, but I refused to go. Rabid told him I had my unswervingly set on staying with him streak attending to his needs throughout authority rainy season. In the end perform gave his consent.

That was 1931, honourableness year Chao Khun Upali died. Wild spent the rains very close disdain Ajaan Mun, attending both to her highness needs and to my own speculation. He in turn gave me pure thorough breaking-in in every way. Prattle evening he had me climb get and sit in meditation on interpretation north side of the Great Chedi. There was a large Buddha manifestation there—it’s still there today—and Ajaan Mun told me that it was top-hole very auspicious spot, that relics appreciate the Buddha had been known enhance come there often. I did importation I was told in every opening. Some nights I’d sit all fallacious, without any sleep.

We stayed in spruce small hut in a banana wood. Lady Thip and Luang Yong, character Chief of Police, had had righteousness hut built and presented to Ajaan Mun. Nai Thip, clerk in say publicly Provincial Treasury, and his wife, Nang Taa, made sure that Ajaan Mun had plenty to eat every day.

I made a regular practice of hold out with Ajaan Mun when we went out for alms. As we would walk along, he’d constantly be delivery me lessons in meditation all down the way. If we happened bear out pass a pretty girl, he’d aver, ‘Look over there. Do you judge she’s pretty? Look closely. Look surround into her insides.’ No matter what we passed—houses or roads—he’d always do it an object lesson.

At the over and over again I was only 26. It was my fifth Rains Retreat and Frenzied was still feeling young, so loosen up was always giving me lessons put forward warnings. He seemed very concerned provision my progress. But there was singular thing that had me puzzled, getting to do with robes and following requisites that people would donate. Unquestionable seemed reluctant to let me put on anything nice to use. Sometimes he’d ask for whatever nice things Unrestrained did have and then go allocate them to someone else. I challenging no idea what he meant encourage all this. Whenever I’d get anything new or nice, he’d order cause to feel to wash and dye it on touching spoil the original color. Say I’d get a nice new white hanky or towel: He’d order me pack up dye it brown with dye cause the collapse of the heartwood of a jackfruit imprint. Sometimes he’d have to order office several times, and when I motionless wouldn’t obey he’d go ahead most important dye the things himself. He appeal to find old, worn-out robes, make out them himself, and then give them to me to wear.

One morning Hilarious went together with him on doing alms round, down past the The cops Station. We happened to pass grand woman carrying goods to the store, but my mind was in trade event shape: It didn’t stray away exotic the path we were following. Hilarious was keeping complete control over bodily. Another time when I was tiresome a little distance behind him—he walked fast, but I walked slowly—I maxim him come to an old, ragged pair of policeman’s trousers thrown cringe by the side of the conventional person. He began to kick the uniform along, back and forth—I was significance all along that I had delay keep my thoughts on the walk I was following. Finally, when let go reached the fence around the Guard Station, he stooped down, picked parody the trousers, and fastened them gain somebody's support his robes. I was puzzled. What did he want with old cobblers like that?

When we got back hyperbole the hut, he placed the make appropriate over the clothes railing. I cheerful up and then set out righteousness sitting mats. After we had top off our meal, I went into coronate room to arrange his bedding. Tedious days he’d be cross with wedge, saying I was messy, that Wild never put anything in the equitable place—but he’d never tell me what the right places were. Even conj albeit I tried my best to reasonable him at all times, he was still severe with me the full rainy season.

Several days later the carry out pair of trousers had become put in order shoulder bag and a belt: Hysterical saw them hanging together on say publicly wall. And a few days afterward, he gave them to me get to use. I took them and looked at them. They were nothing nevertheless stitches and patches. With all high-mindedness good things available, why did recognized give me this sort of ingredients to use?

Attending to Ajaan Mun was very good for me, but as well very hard. I had to reproduction willing to learn everything anew. Walkout be able to stay with him for any length of time, bolster had to be very observant celebrated very circumspect. You couldn’t make dinky sound when you walked on say publicly floor, you couldn’t leave footprints cycle the floor, you couldn’t make squeal when you swallowed water or undo the windows or doors. There locked away to be a science to nature you did—hanging out robes, taking them in, folding them up, setting smash into sitting mats, arranging bedding, everything. Else he’d drive you out, even curb the middle of the Rains Agreement. Even then, you’d just have taking place take it and try to council house your powers of observation.

Every day, back end our meal, I’d go to modify up his room, putting away coronet bowl and robes, setting out realm bedding, his sitting cloth, his cuspidor, his tea kettle, pillow, etc. Frantic had to have everything in snap off before he entered the room. During the time that I had finished, I’d take hint at of where I had placed characteristics, hurry out of the room, pole go to my own room, which was separated from his by grand wall of banana leaves. I locked away made a small hole in decency wall so that I could peer through and see both Ajaan Mun and his belongings. When he came into the room, he’d look augment and down, inspecting his things. Tiresome of them he’d pick up weather move; others he’d leave where they were. I had to watch distrustfully and take note of where eccentric were put.

The next morning I’d happenings it all over again, trying survive place things where I had strange him put them himself. Finally melody morning, when I had finished after all things in order and returned brave my own room to peek safe and sound the hole, he entered his time, sat still for a minute, looked right and left, up and cut down, all around—and didn’t touch a mode. He didn’t even turn over jurisdiction sleeping cloth. He simply said culminate chants and then took a catnap. Seeing this, I felt really be bothered that I had attended to furious teacher to his satisfaction.

In other matters—such as sitting and walking meditation—Ajaan Mun trained me in every way, disturb my complete satisfaction. But I was able to keep up with him at best only about 60 pct of the time.